Will you judge a friend?

Did you think no?

Well that’s interesting.. Let us see whether you stick to the no at the end of this post.. 😉

But did you think yes? I might think you are mean at some level, but as long as the judgements are reserved for few certain things, you have already earned my respect!

Judging is necessary! As long as it is within limits of necessity..

So what is necessity and what is not?

Not every other person you talk to daily is a friend and Not because you haven’t talked to a person in ages, remove that person from your friend list. They might even have a permanent place in the inner most circle and nothing, yes, nothing could shake them off from that place..

Now, letting someone have such a place requires judging..

Don’t be shocked that I am saying to judge your best of best friends.. That is what I am saying.. Judge them..

When and For what?

Before letting someone hold the detonator to your bomb or the key to your darkest dungeon stashed with secrets, hitherto known only to you and the ever persistent almighty or that superior force, by whatever name you would call that.

Yes, it is not love and you are not giving them the strings to shatter and hoping against hope to not be shattered by them..

It is something more..

There is a hearsay custom amidst the folks of people diving underwater for pearls. They will tie a rope around them and hand over the other end of the rope to a person, who should pull out this guy, as and when he receives a signal to pull out. Any delay or any slip would cost the life of the diver.

Letting someone be the best of best friend requires the level of trust between the diver and the holder.

Is it too dramatic?

Maybe. And you might also argue that not letting someone be close could cost your life.

Please do read on..

The dear friend is shaping your future even without your conscience. A thought by a random stranger might be brushed off inspite of the richness of that idea. But even a silly thought from a dear friend goes a long way and has the power to change your future.

Many success stories of the start-ups has a crazy conversation with a friend. That is when the idea is actually implanted in your thoughts that might even change  the world. Even if many of us do not acknowledge the fact of the same, it is still having a good chance.

And now you could argue the same could fit to a random conversation with an acquaintance.. Accepted without buts.

So where are we.. I started saying you must judge and went on to ramble about the sparkle of idea from randomness.. Let us get back on track to the judging part.

Here is a hypothetical situation.

You have achieved a very big thing or crossed a remarkable milestone in your life. You are so filled with happiness and the euphoria of achievement that you start blabbering the tales to everyone who would listen. Still you know that one particular person / group to whom you want to share it first.. Is that not judging?!

Another scenario:

You are in middle of disaster / life-crisis and you need a partner to get you out of it. Out of the hundreds of contacts on our address books, only one name pops up at that moment. You call them up and you are out of the disaster in no time at all.. Now do you mean to say that none other could have done the job? Still why that particular one? That is what I meant by judging!

Fine, there is the possibility, that ‘one’ did not turn up and let you go down another layer of the crisis. Now you would have a doubt and yet call up another and might get out of the trouble. But, would you be calling that ‘one’ as your friend still? That is what I meant by judging!

Know the worth of your friendship by seeing which one turns up during the depth of crisis and rescues you! They do deserve a special place in our hearts.

I am summing up with the quote “Friend in need is a friend indeed” along with another quote from Thirukkural.

கேட்டினும் உண்டோர் உறுதி கிளைஞரை
 நீட்டி அளப்பதோர் கோல். [796]
kaettinum uNdoar uRudhi kiLainjarai
neetti aLappadhoar koal.
There is a gain in grief: it is a tool
 to stretch and gauge a friend. [Couplet 796]
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